Added: Iesha Huynh - Date: 16.02.2022 18:32 - Views: 28477 - Clicks: 9249
The reality has hit you - your partner has been sending illicit texts to someone else.
Finding out that your other half has been sexting when you thought your relationship was going well is a horrible situation to be in. The feelings of shock and betrayal are likely to leave you asking yourself and your partner a lot of questions. But is sexting actually betrayal? Some might argue that sexting is only a of being human and having fun. But that view won't wash for most people who require commitment and honesty from their partner. Sexting is increasingly popular amongst adults and can be a fun way to enhance your sex life with your partner.
The Way We Are Now study by Relate, Marriage Care and Relationships Scotland found that over half of 16 to 34 year olds said that sending sexy or flirtatious messages and pictures had a positive impact on their relationship. However, just as technology can enhance our relationships, it also presents risks.
One Canadian study found that whilst 75 percent of people who sexted had done so within the confines of a relationship, 12 percent had sexted in a relationship where cheating had taken place. So what are you supposed to do if you catch your partner sexting somebody else?
First be certain that it's actually happening. Accusing them of sexting is just one way of showing them how bad we might be feeling. Do you have a screaming row?
Do you feel angry and upset but decide to say nothing and hope it goes away? Relationship counsellors often see couples where the one who feels betrayed puts the transgression down to the conniving ways of the sextee.
Most counsellors though would try to help the couple to see that a person is rarely made to do this. So, letting your partner take responsibility for their part of the deal is important. You might also feel you want full disclosure. This means asking your partner to be really honest about how far it has gone. It is obvious that sometimes sexting gets followed up by actually meeting that person or vice versa and for most partners, this would be far more serious.
For people who sext, it tends to be curiosity and maybe boredom with the hum drum of everyday life that makes sexting an attractive distraction. The need to feel desired can be a big motivator too. One of the main problems when sexting happens outside of the relationship is that you find it has a different meaning for each of you.
Not many treat it as a passing irritation. Another common theme is the partner using this experience as way to start off ending the relationship. Until you both understand this and what you both want from your relationship it is going to be difficult to know whether it is worth working at. Although it is tempting to forgive and try to forget, the truth is that repeated episodes are only going to undermine your confidence in yourself and in the relationship. On the other hand, an episode like this may make your partner realise just how important you are to them.
You may want to suggest to your partner that you go for relationship counselling to address any underlying issues. Counsellors often help relationships to recover from incidents of sexting and even full blown affairs.
It takes time to rebuild trust but hopefully you can reach a point again where you will feel confident that the only sexts your partner is sending are to you. thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies. Want to bookmark your favourite articles and stories to read or reference later? Start your Independent Premium subscription today. Recommended I'm in a relationship but I fancy someone else - what do I do? How to get over someone according to a relationship expert How to deal with the s that your relationship is in trouble Is an open relationship ever a good idea?
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10 Things To Know Before Sexting