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Wondering how to have good, great, or just better sex? Try these tips from research and experts. You're not quite sure how—or when—it happened.
You used to have great sex, but suddenly your it just isn't what it used to be. By 11 p. Even when you do work up the energy, sex feels so The excitement, even the passion, are MIA. You're not the only one. The thing is, you Just need amazing sex sex—a lot.
And you love your partner. So what gives? Ready to light your fire? Here's how to have good sex or great sex! After this, read: Sex tips for Women from Sex Therapists. Women who have the best sex lives feel good about their bodies, says Joy Davidson, Ph. Unfortunately, according to Berman, up to 80 percent of women in the United States suffer from a negative body image.
To boost your body confidence, give yourself a reality check. The next time you're at the store or in the gym, take a look around you at all the attractive women who are a variety of shapes and sizes. Remind yourself: There is no one ideal. Then ask your partner what they love about your body, and write it down. Read the list every morning. Finally, compliment yourself. At least once a week, stand in front of the mirror naked and focus on your favorite features—inside and out.
Touch each part and say aloud what you like about it — this will help to reinforce your feelings, says Berman. Exercise can also do wonders for helping you love your bodytoo. Think about those moments in your life when you feel completely in tune with your body. Maybe it's after you finish a long run —your blood is pumping and you're relaxed and exhilarated. Or perhaps it's when you do yoga and achieve a mind-body meld.
Chances are, this doesn't happen often enough. To reestablish the bond, do something that makes you feel good in your skin at least once a day—treat yourself to a massage, go apple picking with your kids, wear the jeans that give you an ego boost the minute you slide them on. It's extreme, yes, but highly effective. That's because when you tell yourself you can't have something, you want it even more. The same is true in the bedroom—especially if you and your partner have been together for a while and sex has become automatic.
Instead of focusing on the end game, learn to enjoy the sensuality of sex. Tease yourself—and your partner. Get undressed, dim the lights and take turns exploring each other's bodies. This will Just need amazing sex you reconnect with each other on a whole new level. Hold off if you can! After a few years together, it's easy to get lazy in bed.
But you both deserve better. Research shows that new and adventurous activities may stimulate the brain to produce dopamine, a neurotransmitter that plays a key role in sexual desire. Do something daring outside the bedroom and dopamine levels may skyrocket—along with your sex drive.
Challenge your partner to a heart-pounding activity like rock climbing or white-water rafting or go pump some iron! Put your hand on top of theirs and guide them in how you want to be touched—including how much pressure to use. When you're ready to move on to oral sexor to bring in a few sex toysspeak up. Here's exactly how to navigate the "I want to add a toy" conversation. When you're stressed out, it's impossible to feel sexy.
That's because when you experience chronic tension, your body produces higher levels of oxytocin, a chemical that cancels out the effects of the sex hormone testosterone. As a result, your libido takes a nosedive. Here are other reasons you might have a low libido.
Recharge your sexual batteries by doing things that let you break free from your hectic everyday life, says Berman. Play a CD that reminds you of your college days and sing along. Splurge on something you'd normally never buy—like that leopard coat—and wear it out.
When you're relaxed and feeling good about yourself, sex will start to seem within the realm of possibility again. A study at the University of Virginia found that the leading predictor of a woman's marital happiness was the level of her spouse's emotional engagement. If you two are spending quality time together, you're happy. But when you're feeling disconnected, your relationship and your sex life suffer.
Here's why: A common relationship dynamic is that one person needs to feel close to their partner to be inspired to make love, but the other needs sex to feel close, explains Berman. How to break the stalemate?
Make the first move, says Berman. When you give them a little gratitude, it's a huge bonding moment for you both. Even in this enlightened age, women still spend about an hour more each day than men on household chores and childcare. Jury's still out on non-heterosexual couples. No wonder so many women aren't in the mood! Research at Cornell University shows that when men pitch in around the house, their wives are much more likely to be satisfied with the relationship and to want more sex.
The next thing you Just need amazing sex, he'll be pushing past you to wipe the counter, change the kitty litter, and unload the dishwasher. You know it's good to escape—from work, the kids, the dust bunnies—and concentrate on each other. If you can't head off for the weekend, go out to dinner instead. But mix it up a little: Pick a place you've never been and order a dish you've never had. Better yet, visit your partner at work. Seeing them in a place that doesn't have anything to do with you will reveal a different side of them and reconnect you with the person you fell in love with.
If you need another reason to exercise, consider this: Working out is a great way to boost your sex life. It also gets you in the mood by reducing stress and boosting your self-esteem. Working out gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment, says Berman. Just as important, exercise helps you tune in to your body—and tune out the world.
Weight training and Pilates, which force you to focus on your muscles and your form, are especially good for this. By Lauren E. Bailey Updated October 08, Each product we feature has been independently selected and reviewed by our editorial team. If you make a purchase using the links included, we may earn commission.Just need amazing sex
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19 Tips for the Best Sex Ever